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Friday
May192017

It's Been A Long Week

I'm so glad it's Friday. It's been a long week. The news of Chris Cornell has left me shaken. I cannot believe he took his own life. You never know when people are hurting. Be kind and offer help when and where you can. I have nothing else to add, so here's a metal cat. Happy weekend.

 

Reader Comments (9)

Allyson, thanks for providing a place that is often a respite from just the sorts of worries that can get you down. We owe you.

Have a great weekend.
May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterHim
Very sad! Never know the demons people drag with them! When Jani Lane passed it really hit me hard, almost like I lost a buddy. Not sure why? I met him twice and he was awesome but we weren't friends. That's how it felt!!!! So sorry for his family they are left to pick up The pieces.
May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJack T. Ripper
Mr Ripper I agree and felt the same way about Mr Lane.. Only met him once - With Chris I just feel for his family what a loss...The guilt etc... just a shame..
May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterShawn
Exactly how I felt about Ronnie Montrose, Keith Emerson and Butch Trucks. Such amazingly talented musicians who ended their own lives. Incredibly sad.allyson, you are so right about being kind to one another. if anything, I think the Internet has allowed us to be much meaner to each other because we can now hurl insults at people without having to physically face them, or even hear their voice.
May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBob
Ditto here for Randy Rhodes. That one really bothered me. Guy was so young and such a phenomenal talent to be taken away so soon. Bob you're correct, there's way to many keyboard commandos out there that wouldn't have the sack to say in person what they spew anonymously on the internet. Life's too short to take too seriously,so why be a douche nozzle.
May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterGary
Gary, Bob and especially Allyson:

It's not only been a long week, it's been a long past 12 months or so. Lots of loss, lots of divisiveness.

It's fun to banter back and forth about the relative qualities of our soundtrack of the past. Music is the place I go when I need to get away from current events. For the most part, it's therapeutic. Then sometimes, the music world gives you a gut punch.

What strangers on the internet think of me will never affect my sense of self. It just doesn't matter. That being said, there are some really great internet communities, this being one, for the most part.

Nobody knows what anyone has been through, is going through, is thinking internally. Being kind costs you nothing, but it could mean all the difference to someone else. I've seen it happen. In the end, it may not make a difference, but it costs nothing to do so.

Sorry if this was rambling. Just had some thoughts.
May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTheCheapSeats
Trump will save us all
May 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterDino
Good comments, everyone. And I think Gary narrowed down Bob's salient point perfectly: it is the anonymity of the 'Net that breeds the vitriol. And it even happens when people post online as their _real_ selves (see the recent ouster of the dean at Yale as a good example and lesson). Online, the heft of consequences feels distant. They feel different hunkered down behind a keyboard, or frantically clawing away at their phones. They feel they are somehow exempt from normal standards of tact and/or decorum.

I would add one wrinkle though: those sorts of behaviors impact how people now talk/interact in person too. Take a look around you someday on the street. Consider how distant people, even people who are close to you (figuratively or literally), can be. A mechanism that has brought so much information to so many people tends, if not cultivated in a caring fashion, to isolate and exacerbate differences online _and_ in person. That scares me. So we are living in the realm of new media. But the same basic rules should apply: consider what your actions/words/deeds say about you, and what they say about those around you.

Somewhat like TheCheapSeats, a random jab from an anonymous poster doesn't impact me much. That said, I have felt better--on several very specific occasions--from simply being "here" and reading what all of you had to say. In fact, I found this site at one of the lowest points in my life. It was a blessing. It still is.

I post here anonymously for a variety of reasons. But I have gotten to know some of you in the process. You have been, without fail, kind and generous with your thoughts and opinions. And even when the temperature has gotten a bit hot on occasion, I never take it as a mean-spirited encounter. Heck, I have had to eat humble pie several times. In still other cases, I have been taken to school . . . in a good way! I even see my slap-fights with bkallday as a form of (usually) gentle teasing. I hold no ill will to anyone on this site. Wounds tend to heal faster here. It is one reason I won't ever post on another site. I have no reason to do so. I don't find value in what I see posted on other sites. And I realize that is a choice I make. But, for me, it is an easy one.

I shudder to think what my little corner of the world would be like it this place didn't exist. Sure, we all duck out now and again as the regular pace of our lives dictates. But checking in--and wanting to check in when the time allows--is something that does cross my mind while away on business, or spending time with family, or what have you.

A final set of observations: there was this fellow named Cooley who, at the dawn of the previous century developed a theory called "The Looking Glass Self." Basically, it suggests we define ourselves, in part, by how we think others perceive us. It was a theory made for another time, another era. But there is a grain of truth in that theory, even to this day. And I wonder sometimes how people who knuckle drag their way across the internet perceive others perceiving them. I wonder if they catch a glimpse of their reflection in the screen in front of them.

There are consequences to everything we do, even if we do not see them. Granted, there are cases where we should bemoan a bad person. Cases where we should shout down ignorance because it impacts us and others. Cases where 'turning the other cheek' amounts to acquiescence in the face injustice. But being kind takes very little effort, even if it is sometimes a paradoxically hard thing to do. And even when it is not reciprocated, it costs us nothing.

Have a great weekend everyone.
May 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterHim
Thoughtful and caring post HIM. Thank you.

I think the anonymous trust that BBG affords us is not taken lightly and most respect that trust. When a rogue knucklehead comes along and attempts to rattle the humanity, they ultimately fail and troll elsewhere. They fail because maturity (BBG demo probably 35-55) and decent self esteem trumps (no innuendo there I swear) degrading an anonymous person. How silly to take time out of your day to be a douche!

Peace!
May 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKixchix

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