Music Is Universal, Or, Covers That (Dis-Respectively) Don't Destroy The Original

Today's post is from our friend HIM. 

 
It sorta’ writes itself, doesn’t it? And I am recycling a bit here (then again, being a good steward of the Earth is not a bad thing). But there are some covers that are . . . just . . . plain . . . odious. They stink up the sonic landscape. They make you question life. They almost make you like "Cookie Monster" vocals.

I will provide only two. You do the rest.

Winger, “Purple Haze,” Winger (1988).

With apologies to Allyson all the way back in 2011 (and a nod to all those former posters who, sadly, no longer populate this wonderful site). But no. Gosh no. It sounds like Mr. Chest Hair is having phone sex with himself. Dweezil is on it!  Oh, well, that changes nothing. I can only imagine Hendrix hoping that this crap-tastic castle made of sand fell into the sea of obscurity, eventually. Thing is, Kip (I can call you Kip, right?) has made so many other, good, choices over the years. Heck, he won me over with “Down Incognito.”

Bon Jovi, “The Boys are Back in Town,” New Jersey (1988).

What the hell is wrong with 1988?!?! I am on the record about not loving Jon or the Jovis, save for “In and Out of Love.” Simply put, there is no whiskey in this jar of middling cringe-music. In fact, I wish poor Phil was alive so that he could challenge Jon to a duel (musical, of course). And before you get too excited, I know that even Phil’s version is a cover of a cover of a cover of a cover of a traditional Irish folk song. So let me add this for context: given that Phil is not with us, it would be great if Shane “Did You See My One Good Tooth?” MacGowan decided to challenge Jon to a duel (again, musically) while The Dubliners stood by, clapping, or doing a jig, or protecting their Lucky Charms.

Let loose, great BBG! posters. Bring forth the fury. Add to the fun. Life is too short to listen to bad music, let alone bad covers.

Comments

[JT]

Count me among the fans of Winger's "Purple Haze" cover. My appreciation for all things Kip and Reb has grown exponentially over the past decade or so. I, as they say, Can't Get Enuff.

[fletch]

This is a twist on a cool subject, Him. I didn't comment on your previous post, other that my feigned attempt at being a bit snarky. I didn't comment on it because over the years, I have discussed some of my favorite covers already, so why repeat. This post, though, is the opposite. And interestingly enough, I was discussing two cover albums with a friend a couple of weeks ago and commented that if I had a magic wand and the capability to produce these albums, I would have loved to be given the chance. Because both albums, IMHO, fall way short. The first is Joan Jett's The Hit List and the second is Poison's Poison'd.

Regarding the former, there are a couple of songs that I enjoy (Love Hurts and Celluloid Heroes) but each still don't live up the greatness of their originals. But other covers on this album are god-awful: Dirty Deeds, Tush, Love Me two Times, while on others, the godmother of punk should have kept Pretty Vacant and I Wanna be Your Dog in the annals of The Sex Pistols and Iggy Pop who left indelible marks on the rock landscape. Granted, the latter wasn't on The Hit List, but rather in her otherwise critically acclaimed album, Up Your Alley.

Regarding Poison's cover album: No. Just no. Ok I'll be nicer. I like some of Poison's covers, most notably, Cover of a Rolling Stone off Crack a Smile with guitarist Blues Saraceno (so technically, is it "really" a Poison cover?) I also enjoy their takes on the Rolling Stone's Dead Flowers, and KISS's Rock and Roll All Night, but I can't (won't) understand or accept, Sexy Back, The Romantic's What I Like About You, or Bowie's Suffragette City. And then, to add insult to my already injured bleeding ears, they rounded this catastrophe with covers of Alice Cooper's I Never Cry and the abysmal version of The Who's Squeeze Box.

This album, alone, is perhaps the single reason for why Jan Wenner is keeping Poison out of The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. If you can't play with the big boys, stay home.

[Basileus]

The Cult’s version of Born to be Wild is awful.

David Coverdale covering his Deep Purple work in Whitesnake’s The Purple Album is not bad per se, but none of the covers are better than the originals. With one exception: Coming Home. That one is better.

[David ( Belfast )]

Boys are back in town was written by Phil Lynott ( not a copy of a copy...you are thinking about Whiskey in the Jar ).....Metallica's cover of WITJ is just wretched!

[Bkallday]

There are many reasons why Poison isn’t and will never be in the Rock n Roll HOF. Mainly it’s due to them not deserving it.

[Metalboy!]

Nice twist, HIM! ...

Cheap Trick, “Don’t Be Cruel”
Poison, “What I Like About You”
Mr. Big, “Baby, It’s A Wide World”
Keel, “Let’s Spend The Night Together”
Trixter, “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap”
Santana, “Photograph”
Kik Tracee, “Mrs. Robinson”
Nirvana, “Do You Love Me”
Slayer, “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida”
Celtic Frost, “Mexican Radio”
Anthrax, “Sabbath Bloody Sabbath”
Warrant, “Train Train”
Flotsam & Jetsam, “Saturday Night’s Alright For Fighting”
Lillian Axe, “No Matter What”
Silent Rage, “Can’t Get Her Out Of My Head”
Autograph, “We’re An American Band”
Shooting Gallery, “Brown Eyed Girl”
Steve Jones, “Suffragette City”
Motley Crue, “Jailhouse Rock”
Cold Sweat, “I Just Want To Make Love To You”
Girl, “You Really Got Me”
House of Lords, “Can’t Find My Way Home”
Junkyard, “Tush”
Testament, “Nobody’s Fault”
Tunnel, “American Metal”
Smashing Pumpkins, “Jackie Blue”
Fozzy, “Black Out”
Hurricane, “I’m Eighteen”
Guns N’ Roses “You Can’t Put Your Arm Around A Memory”
Pantera, “Cat Scratch Fever”
Overkill, “Sonic Reducer”

[Gogmagog]

There once was a time when I thought that Mississippi Queen was one of those rare songs which was so good that it was impossible to record a bad cover version. Then I heard this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fd0XhWFnLHY

[Him]

JT, good on you for loving that cover. That's the great thing about all of this. It is entirely subjective.

You sorta' got me, Dave (Belfast). I was making a sub-joke about my whisky aside and it got the better of me. Trust me, I know the difference between the two songs. So I guess I need to applaud you for noting the obvious: making a reference to a song, and then another song, and then taking the second reference farther than you did the first, is bad form. But I stand, slightly bowed, by my point: Phil would have not liked the cover. And I don't think The Dubliners would mind a nod, now and again, over here in the States.

I will say, though, that 'Talllica's cover is better than Jovi's cover . . . even if, as you mentioned (and I wish I had made clearer), they are two different songs. I'd hire an editor. But, then again, the pay for posting is nothing. So I couldn't pay them much more than that!

Gogmagog, yup. That is crap.

[fletch]

Thanks for the nod, him. Not.

Carly Simon v. Faster Pussycat: You're So Vain

Both masterpieces?

[Him]

Here's your nod, Fletch. There. Are we square? Are we on the level?