Twilight Of The Idols, Part II: Homework Edition
Saturday, February 28, 2015 at 12:01AM Today's article is courtesy of our friend HIM.
No one reads the interwebs looking for homework. No one. Some might read it for help with homework. But not even the most diligent student sits down and says: okay, technology, make me do the heavy-lifting. And this isn’t even school. This is a glam website!
But I ask you to humor me. Listen to and watch this:
Now do the same with this:
By any reasonable standard, several things become apparent. First, the people in the first video look smelly. But I digress before I even start. The first video captures a mood and vibe that sounds utterly authentic. The second video capture a sound and a feeling that seems . . . well, artificial. When I first heard this I had the strangest sensation. Then I had the oddest thought: this is classic rock if Cher and a robot made it.
I have no problem with crisp production. I can deal with brickwalling. I can forgive a host of sins and miss a lot more. Case in point: Sabbath’s 13 sounded just fine to me (even if I kept imagining what it might sound like if Dio sang those songs). Slayer’s albums have gotten louder and louder, even as they have begun to seem similar, and I still buy the product. I am a fan of metal. I ride the rails. I know the routes.
I also have no issue with old masters being updated with new maestros. Blackmore operates in a realm that is by turns understandable and ridiculous. He graced us with more sweet licks than a child hunkering down on a Tootsie-Pop. But he also helped reaffirm the image of the self-indulgent, bigger than thou, guitarist. Dee Snider, a man I respect, bashed former Whitesnake guitarist Aldrich. But Aldrich has achieved more in his niche than Snider is willing to admit. At some level, Snider’s rant is envy coupled with promotion; at another, it is promotion coupled with regret.
Here’s the thing: Whitesnake has not been, for a long time, anything other than a conveyance for Coverdale’s slightly new-agey/clearly old-agey ego. He is at peace. He is blissful. Every press release from his mountain non-redoubt is affirmative, forward-thinking, and upbeat. He probably skips rocks across Lake Tahoe after Tantric sex and before making an egg-white omelet. But Coverdale is also an old man, with new teeth, and a penchant for taking his shirt off. It is off-putting in a way that makes Phil Collen seem polite. Picture your grandma/pa taking her/his shirt off at the slightest provocation, then thrusting towards you, then singing to you, and then you think:
What the hell was that? It sounds like a cat coughed up Vince Neil’s voice and then slapped David Lee Roth’s bald head with the scraps.
But the second clip is so processed, so stripped of any semblance of a real voice, that you wouldn’t know that Coverdale is a spent force holding on to a glimmer of a career as an elder statesman of rock. Watch that video again. Hear those soaring notes in the chorus of "Stormbringer"? Notice they don’t even try to suggest—as autotuned as they are—that the majority of them are coming from his yamhole? Now listen to the first clip. There is some studio finesse afoot. But it is Coverdale and it is a Coverdale that many—men and women alike—would mind seeing smiling and undressing on stage as he pokes the microphone stand up in the air and into the audience like a metal phallus. The Coverdale of old could Download all over Donington. Today's Coverdale would be lucky to belt out the first (and only) verse of "Viva Viagra."
The point? This is what time and age have wrought. This is what we are left with and what we have to look forward to as time passes. It is the metal version of Pink Floyd’s meat grinder: a legendary band’s song, shoved through a fading band’s newest release (The Purple Album if you were wondering), replete with great musicians (Reb Beach and former Night Ranger Joel Hoekstra on guitars, Michael Devin on bass, and Tommy “Is that man really still alive?” Aldridge on drums), and a singer that has nothing left to prove . . . and proves it. In spades. With the help of HAL.
Oh, the tour. The tour. It will happen. And now, instead of fairly glossy studio fare that only occasionally lives up to its promise live, we will get a Whitesnake (version 17.66) take on a lesser, though still wonderful, version of Deep Purple. With grandpa/ma milking it for all it is worth. Still, fans will clamor for it. They will say (as we all do when we are fanboys who look the other way): “the ‘Snake is back!!” Sure. It is. But it is a flaccid snake that can barely slide it in to the entrance.
So what is it worth? This is that tipping point in a band’s existence that finds them and their fans facing down a choice: is the music worth the memories or are the memories worth the music? To my mind, the answer is simple. It is the music that comes first. And The Purple Album suggests that, regrettably, for Coverdale, the memories are all that matter. Sadly, fans are now forced to stand or fall, with Whitesnake and increasingly other bands of our youth, on the merits of that question.
Reader Comments (17)
Though one could interpret the whole exercise of Coverdale doing "The Purple Album" as just an easy way to put out an album, it also could be his attempt to do the songs "justice", updating them by bringing a little more guts to the production with more cranked up guitars while dialing down the heavy trademark Classic Rock-ish Deep Purple keys (Sorry, Lord) which tend to date and soften the impact of the music in it's original form.
If "Stormbringer" is any indication, the sound Coverdale is chasing is more late 80's, early 90's style Purple, except with him singing instead of Joe Lynn Turner or a returning Ian Gillan.
The only thing is, there's one thing you allude to, he can't correct or improve that's on the original "Stormbringer" -- his incredible voice.
p.s. Coverdale & Co. also don't do themselves any favors by going for the whole close up thing. I don't need to be reminded of how old I am by looking at how old they are. This is probably a function of how much easier it is to film and clean up through CGI close ups combined with Coverdale's self ego stroking desire to fill the frame with Brand Coverdale. The new clip does strike a nice balance in the end, however, when we see our fading hero and his hired guns in medium shot repose.
EXACTLY! I'm not ashamed of my age, I'm old enough that I saw Deep Purple back when Coverdale was the L.V. & Tommy Bolin was cranking out the guitar riffs. And it ROCKED! This new WhatSnake version of David's tribute to himself is as fraudulent & false as can be. But it's better than nothing... Kind of... That being said, DC's drawing power is waning... Tickets went on sale w/ a presale a few days ago, & general sale this morning. I went by the box office at the Joint in Vegas this evening & could get seats in the 1st 10 rows. This may be Whitesnake's last go-round. I hope DC sings more than 1/2 the lyrics this time... Because last tour, 2 years ago... that was pretty embarrassing...almost sinking into Vince Neil levels of stinkiness.
...dedicated to Bolin, Lord, Coverdale and Ace for paying tribute to Bolin and Lord...
Neither Coverdale or Hughes will ever scale these heights again and unfortunately, neither will we...
But Ace witnessed it...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7kMFd-pkDQ
\m/
Absolutely amazing. And the audio from this Stormbringer clip is from the Long Beach, CA show I saw... 39 years ago this week! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKGKgD1jJRs
And, Basileus, I can totally see your point as well. In fact, part of my sadness (and it is sadness) is that we are getting to/have passed that tipping point with so many of these great acts. I can think of so many instances, and not all of them were able to maintain their voice for as long as Coverdale did! And while we often quibble about the relative strengths of the Axls, Neils, and Roths of the metal world, it is rarer and rarer to find them performing at the top of their game. That isn't really their fault either.
Nor do we have to agree on what constitutes "good enough." Heck, I still enjoy the down-tuned glory of Dokken, if only because I think Don is still a great frontman. Now I know I am in the majority on that count. But that's okay.
In fact, my last great Metallica memory is a mixed blessing in keeping with the original post: hearing Metallica's "Escape" played with near note-for-note precision and vigor. Problem is, it was the cover band Damage Inc., playing to a far less than packed crowd, at the Rock Bar in San Jose.
I almost choked on a mouthful of Pepsi as I read that Him! (You have a gift buddy.) Another great submission!
Oh,and you're spot on about Coverdale.Im pretty sure he must be kind of a douche nozzle to work for,seeing the turnover of guitarists over the years? (On that note,was Joel Hoekstra passing a kidney stone during the filming of this video? The faces he makes are akin to someone who's been constipated for a week pushing out a football sized log) All that. Ring said,guy has a great set of pipes,and anything that brings attention to a Purple is A-OK a n my book. \m/
Awesome article !
I know not everyone on this site agrees on this point, but anyway: Hoekstra (pucker-puss and all . . . still giggling, Gary) is also a good player, got handed a dream gig, and comes from a band that has consistently played great live shows (can't speak to their newer albums). In fact, Night Ranger is composed of some stellar musicians. Blades and Gillis (_Speak of the Devil_ is a testament to the latter man's guts and skills) might not be everyone's cup of pop-rock tea, but they penned some classic songs that even haters probably can sing along to if they hear them.
But, back on point, I truly think that Hoekstra can tend to the hedgerows left behind by the guitar-slingers he replaces. Problem is, the lead singer can't tend to his own legacy and does an injustice to it by trying to keep things going. In that sense, Hoekstra would have been better served sticking with Night Ranger (even as they were classy in handling his departure).
Again, no one asked, but here it is: Coverdale should write an autobiography and take that where it leads. He should also follow the lead of the man he shadows, Robert Plant. Change directions and do something true to his voice and his passions. I doubt he will though. He coddles the snake thing like a blanket, all the while squeezing the life out of his legacy and cheating his fans.