Feel Like Intercourse With A Ukulele
Wednesday, December 21, 2016 at 12:01AM
The gigantic hits don’t suffer fools lightly. You try messing with an established song, you reap the whirlwind.
Sometimes, though, a band hits on a gentle glide path that fits the song. Take, for instance, Pantera. They did right by Sabbath with this tasty slab of dedication:
It helps that this fits their groove, and came before “white wine” fiascos and tragic deaths. Other bands stumble along the path, spitting up tangled messes of purported celebration. I mean, is it really a good thing for established (and glossy) metal bands to try and muster some punk
Megadeth tried:
So did Motley Crue:
Neither version offers a sneer worthy of the original. If anything, they sound as calculated as Malcolm McLaren andVivienne Westwood’s attempts to create punk so as to craft an easy road to commerce. At least Megadeth comes out a bit better. There are no SoCal shades in their version.
Then there are the outliers that somehow make sense. I give the right of way to founders who want to do whatever they want. It is their song. They own it. So do your best. Plant leads the pack in this category. He doesn’t give a grizzled damn what others think:
And that is when he wasn’t so grizzled. He actually just snuck something in. And people lost their minds! But others are a bit closer to the Ur Stone. Simon Kirke has done enough heavy hitting that he makes Chris Brown look like even more of a coward. And, still, he wants you to make love Hawaiian style:
Granted, this is more Sammy Hagar than Bad Company. If anything, it is good company. It is an easy blast of calm. But it works. And, even if it didn’t, you cannot claim right of way. Kirke slammed those skins. Now he plucks (pun potential). You pick which version you want. But you might want both. Variety is, after all, the spice of life.
Reader Comments (12)
But the title of the post is fitting - funny i was just listening to some Free on my way into work this morning. The song makes me want to hop on a carnival cruise line.
Similarly, I have no problem with the Megadeth version. Lots of attitude and as you said, at least fit with their anti-corporate, anti-establishment aesthetic. It's certainly way better than their cover of No More Mr. Nice Guy.
For my money, though, I'll take Skid Row's cover of Holiday in the Sun any day. Loads of attitude, and it just sounds fantastic. That was actually my gateway to the Sex Pistols, and I still prefer their version to the original.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8h0u2lhsVI
Man, do I love covers! As I am one of THE Top Ten Collectors of Ultra Rare Indy 80's/90's Hair Metal CDs, British Punk LP, 45 and 12" Single Imports, as well as 1,000's of 60's/70's Classic Rock and 80's/90's Hard Rock (read "Hair Metal") LPs and CDs.
In other words, I have a sh*t ton of Rock & Roll and pour over it incessantly and obsessively. But note, I said "Rock & Roll", as some of the stuff I own inevitably claims itself to be Rock & Roll though I may not consider it so, i.e. sorry, Iron Maiden fans, your shite is Prog Rock save for 4 or 5 songs.
But I digress. Like I said, I own a sh*t ton -- enough to open a small Indy Record Store which would inevitably fail because the hipsters would be scratching their heads trying to suss out it's lack of Alt Rock, Alt Country and any other crap they waste time listening to.
And because I own said sh*t ton, it goes without saying, I unavoidably own a sh*t ton of covers since many a Rock & Roll band usually has anywhere from a cover or two to a sh*t ton of covers. If it sounds like chest beating, trust me, owning all this stuff is as much a burden as it is a curse, most of it now committed to digital and physically locked away in a hermetically sealed vault at an undisclosed location waiting for me to win the lotto so I can live with it in a hermetically sealed clean room inside a private island hideaway somewhere in the Bermuda Triangle.
And now, drum roll, please, some of my favorite covers I own (that I can recall off the top of my head and you guys know how that can go when I'm trying to remember sh*t) and my thoughts (haha!!) on them...
I, too, love Pantera's cover of Sabbath's "Planet Caravan". I recently got a kick out of uttering to some millennial hipsters during a late night après bar chill out session the name "Pantera" when quizzed about the track as it was playing in the mix wedged between The Flaming Lips' "Do You Realize" and Pink Floyd's "Astronomy Domine" (speaking of covers, let's not forget Voivod's touching rendition of the latter). "No way, dude!", they said in unison, as I peripherally eyed their unfazed girlfriends, hoping I could steal one by impressing them with the Pantera reference to no avail. "Who's that?", one of them said.
I also love the Megadeth cover of "Anarchy in the U.K." But, here's where we part ways, since you guys sound like you're not gonna believe this -- I actually like the Motlëy Crüe version better, for some strange sort of double indemnity kind of reason I feel more than I can articulately defend. Yet I think it has something to do with how half a*sed it sounds (to me, at any rate) and that is the common thread to the Pistols since all their sh*t is a study in half as*edness.
Right or wrong, I say this as I proverbially sit on a pile of Sex Pistols vinyl, posters and memorabilia large enough to set off Malcolm McLaren's son to torch me right then and there. I say "proverbially" because, as I mentioned, the stuff's all in a secret vault awaiting the completion of my island dream house to rival Goldfinger's.
FYI -- For those who may have m*ssed it, McLaren's son recently torched the motherlode of motherlodes of rare and original Sex Pistols vinyl, posters, memorabilia, Vivienne Westwood clothes and other ephemera he inherited from his father, all of this, greeted by the collective sigh of the original members, though said torched collection was estimated to be worth well north of £ 3,000,000.
I'll skip Plant's "Long Cool One" simply because, though I suppose it is "cool", I thought it was SO middle of the road when it came out compared to Led Zeppelin, especially considering I was STILL suffering from chronic Zeppelin withdrawal at the time, clinging to my original copy of "Presence", waiting for Bonham to somehow descend the "Stairway to Heaven" for the follow up "In Through The Out Door" never was (save for their sole REAL parting shot, "In The Evening").
And I'll skip Simon Kirk because, well, one can take only so much regurgitation unless the topic now turns to the following:
Though we gotta love those Metal/Rock covers of Punk songs as I add Overkill's version of the Dead Boys' superb anthem, "Sonic Reducer" or L.A. Guns' rendering of The Stooges' "Search & Destroy" to the pile, how about a little reverse engineering?
Check out the chainsaw guitar attack of The Dickies' version of Sabbath's "Paranoid" or The Damned covering Sweet's "Ballroom Blitz" or, if you consider early Nirvana to be Punk, listen to their interpretation of "Do You Love Me" by KISS!
p.s. It's often been claimed The Dickies are The World's Fastest Band. If you like a little comedy (or a lot, depending on what kind of sense of humor you may possess) in your Rock & Roll, I highly recommend checking out all their albums, particularly their first - "The Incredible Shrinking Dickies", their second - "Dawn of The Dickies" and all the rest, for that matter, especially, "Stukas Over Disneyland" which possesses their priceless take on Zeppelin's "Communication Breakdown". On those albums you will find their shreddings of The Moody Blues' "Nights In White Satin" (clocking in at 2:30 or so), a blistering version of Simon & Garfunkel's "Sound of Silence", The Monkees' "She", even Hanna Barbara's "Banana Splits Theme". And, in keeping with the season, check out their trashing of "Silent Night". So, yeah, these characters shred, albeit, not what we would normally think of, but simply because they play so f*cking fast! Extra cred goes to guitarist Stan Lee, as you will witness his blistering solos, not only on their covers but their originals (i.e. "Give It Back" or "Stuck In A Pagoda With Tricia Toyota"), some of which sound like Boyce & Hart on 78 speed with a helium hitting Wayne Newton or Alvin from Little Alvin & The Chipmunks or Woody Woodpecker, as lead singer (yeah, even more than Vince Neil does). Take my word for it, I saw 'em twice back in the day, once before their fearless leader and high speed keyboardist, Chuck Wagon (RIP) unfortunately went for the express check out lane to the hereafter, may he be jammin' out with all the rest of the greats in that big band in the sky! Enjoy!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_w1gZp6Vojw
to those that apply.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oExTf5jIVoM
and why should I/We care about you?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbImUcwOlUE
in that order
Bkallday, you had me laughing (again)! Would never have thought of that unless you mentioned it. Now, I can't get it out of my head.
Metalboy!, my oh my!! That is a missive. And you are known for missives. But that one is one of the longest I have ever read from you. I can see your point about the Crue version. Problem is, it has none of the anger or sneer of the original. So Megadeth still wins. And I get your dig at Plant, esp. with a reference to ITTOD. But, geesh, that album had some clunkers too. "Hot Dog"?? Even the mighty Zep can't polish a . . . well, you know. At least Plant was still oozing a bit of that smarm charm and making music that teased audiences (if only via a sample). At least we still have the guy floating about, doing whatever it is that he wants to do because, well, he is _still_ Robert "Effing" Plant. The rest of your post? A fever dream of things I know, things I don't, things I might, and things I won't.
Happy holidays everyone!
... Literally! The man knew his Metal!
p.s. HIM, I said "In Through The Out Door" is the parting shot that never was, save for "In The Evening", the lead track off the album. Reread my comments, if you dare -- essentially, what I'm saying is that "Presence" is Zep's last legit work other than "In The Evening", which it preceded. Oh, and to skip The Dickies and Generation X is missing out. Lastly, I politely agree to disagree on which version of "Anarchy In The U.K." is more legit. Again, for me, Crüe's is more Punk, well because, well, they're more Punk, I don't care how loaded (meaning "wealthy") they are.