A New Generation of Van Halen Tunes Coming Soon

ARE YOU READY???
— Foo Fighters (@foofighters) February 18, 2020
Join the Foos in commemorating their 25th anniversary by revisiting stops along their 1995 tour! IN THE ROUND! 🤘
Pre-sale begins TODAY at 12pm ET - the password is hitting your inboxes now!https://t.co/xEHr7wQ2rc#FF25 pic.twitter.com/FXEKwspqRV
Rumor: RATT, TOM KEIFER, SKID ROW And SLAUGHTER To Team Up For Summer U.S. Tour https://t.co/zx8oCGOQSb pic.twitter.com/bhuWsRsQwu
— BLABBERMOUTH.NET (@BLABBERMOUTHNET) February 18, 2020
It sorta’ writes itself, doesn’t it? And I am recycling a bit here (then again, being a good steward of the Earth is not a bad thing). But there are some covers that are . . . just . . . plain . . . odious. They stink up the sonic landscape. They make you question life. They almost make you like "Cookie Monster" vocals.
I will provide only two. You do the rest.
Winger, “Purple Haze,” Winger (1988).
With apologies to Allyson all the way back in 2011 (and a nod to all those former posters who, sadly, no longer populate this wonderful site). But no. Gosh no. It sounds like Mr. Chest Hair is having phone sex with himself. Dweezil is on it! Oh, well, that changes nothing. I can only imagine Hendrix hoping that this crap-tastic castle made of sand fell into the sea of obscurity, eventually. Thing is, Kip (I can call you Kip, right?) has made so many other, good, choices over the years. Heck, he won me over with “Down Incognito.”
Bon Jovi, “The Boys are Back in Town,” New Jersey (1988).
What the hell is wrong with 1988?!?! I am on the record about not loving Jon or the Jovis, save for “In and Out of Love.” Simply put, there is no whiskey in this jar of middling cringe-music. In fact, I wish poor Phil was alive so that he could challenge Jon to a duel (musical, of course). And before you get too excited, I know that even Phil’s version is a cover of a cover of a cover of a cover of a traditional Irish folk song. So let me add this for context: given that Phil is not with us, it would be great if Shane “Did You See My One Good Tooth?” MacGowan decided to challenge Jon to a duel (again, musically) while The Dubliners stood by, clapping, or doing a jig, or protecting their Lucky Charms.
Let loose, great BBG! posters. Bring forth the fury. Add to the fun. Life is too short to listen to bad music, let alone bad covers.
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