The Dirt On 'The Dirt' Is Not... Well, SIXX Is Trying

Today's post is from our friend HIM. 

History is filled with holy grails, valiant searches for a brass ring, and tilts at imagined windmills. Add to that list this never-ending (though often dormant) quest to get a movie version of The Dirt made.

Recently, Nikki Sixx (the alive undead founder of the best band ever, SIXX:AM), had this titillating update on his Eldorado:

 

Does anyone really want this film to be made at this point? The Blabbermouth article reads like a tattered provocation that someone once found exciting. And, yet, there are still some fanboys who find this idea intriguing. Why? What possible good will come out of a movie based on this book? Who, exactly, would be the target market? Crue fans. Okay, you just filled several small venues in several different places for one weekend. And IMAX would have a field day with Neil or with Sixx’s ego.

 

But the laughs (wait, are you crying?) don’t stop there. Is this possibly the metal version of Straight Outta Compton? Of course it isn’t. Is it the stage-setting debut of unknown actors bringing to life a band that huffed and puffed to an end, while still “going out on top”? Of course it isn’t. You are facing a movie of Cameron-esque proportions. I don’t mean James. I mean Kirk.

 

This is an Alan Smithee film in the making. It is a project that, true to the source material, is getting passed around like so many groupies. There was no time when this book would have made a good film. Even a Jackass can see that (see what I did there?). But Sixx wants to float this boat in the imaginary lake of his grandeur, swimming against the tides of commonsense and logic. Why? Because it keeps him in the spotlight and allows him to, Bach to the Future-style (see what I did there?), remind people of a time when his band mattered. Do you really think Mars cares about this? Or Lee? Or even Neil at this point? Answer: no. Why? Because they—all of them—probably have a firmer grasp on the nature of reality, no less the machinations of Hollywood, than Sixx does. And when I say that with “Neil” in a sentence, I am being pretty serious.

 

For fans of the Crue who long for an unrealistic version of the band they love(d), I would suggest watching the DVD of The End tour. Good camera angles. Piped in vocals. Nostalgia. It’s all there. And you can watch it at home. Hell, just go to YouTube. Spoiler alert: Lee gets stuck (which is, in a sense, 'on top')!

Stephen Pearcy, 'Want Too Much' -- New Song

So Stephen Pearcy is out with a new song called "Want Too Much" from his upcoming album Smash. Now, the song sounds exactly like you would assume: raspy and hooky. That said, the production seems... bad? Like Stephen's voice is buried or something. I kept turning up the volume, trying to make his voice louder and not much helped. So while I don't hate the track, I don't love it either. Thoughts?

'She Moves Me' - Jack Russell's Great White Releases New Song

Jack Russell's Great White has a new song out, called "She Moves Me." The song is from the upcoming album He Saw It Comin.' I'm happy for Jack that he's back to recording. He needs music and creativity in his life and I wish him and the rest of his band the best.

Check out "SheMovesMe" from our new album "HeSawItComin'" available on itunes, amazon etc Jan27! #CRANK IT UP #JRGWhttps://t.co/6XboAnmSgZ

— Jack Russell (@JacksGreatWhite) December 14, 2016

Twilight Of The Idols, Part III: Sad But True

Today's post is from our friend HIM. 

This is the third installment of my “metal lament” series. The first dealt with Black Sabbath. The second dealt with Deep Purple and David Coverdale. This entry deals with Metallica. But, more generally, it deals with the fog of time and the passing of days.

 

Metallica’s Lars Ulrich recently gave an interview that provided a peak behind the curtain. I am of mixed emotions about Ulrich. He helped provide the soundtrack to my youth. He threw a pity party about Napster. He was likely a fine tennis player and is now a savvy collector of art. That he, in recent years, couldn’t figure out the double bass if he was fishing in a fully stocked pond, or is mistaken for John Lithgow, is beside the point. But he spoke a cringe-inducing truth that some on this site seem to want to avoid. To wit, he of the more recent Skullet said this on CBC Radio One's arts and culture program "Q":

 

Whether we can do the 'Fight Fire's and the 'Battery's and the 'Master Of Puppets' and all that in our mid-60s and our early 70s remains to be seen. And there's kind of a second part to that, which is that if… I mean, we may be able to still play them — do you know what I mean? — but whether we can bring the weight and whether we can bring the energy and whether we can bring the attitude that those songs deserve in our 60s to 70s, I have no idea. Hopefully we'll have enough clarity to be able to tell if it's not working, to walk away from it graciously and respectfully. But right now we're fine, and we've played some of our best shows in the last couple of years, and I think there's still a bit left in the engine. But whether we can do it in our 70s… hopefully we'll get a chance to find out.

 

He went on:

 

Some of the hardest-working people on our team are a couple of guys that travel with us that stretch us out and sort of stitch us back together," Lars said. "Kirk [Hammett, guitar] is the one that does yoga. I get stretched and I get massaged. It's kind of like… Unfortunately, it's kind of like a sports team now. It's actually kind of pathetic. People come backstage [and ask], 'Where's the Jack Daniel's?' There's no Jack Daniel's. It's brown rice and nasty protein shakes and a couple of trainers that are stretching us and stitching us back together again after the show. But at least we're still playing, and at least we're still functioning, and at least it still has some of the weight that it used to. So, so far so good, so we'll see where it takes us.

 

This is a refreshingly honest take on growing old and playing metal. I applaud Ulrich for this. But I do so with a series of suggestions and observations. What does this portend for those bands of our youth who aren’t privy to such tonics? Do you think Overkill or Saxon have a juice-vendor at the ready, or a masseuse on call? Or what of those bands that do, like, say the Scorpions? How many oxygen tents can be constructed to keep Meine going year after year after farewell? At what point will, say, Rob Halford finally have to call it a day and move in with KK, in a perfume-scented metal bungalow of riffs and screams? And what of those who have passed? Dio is now a cliché-induced scream in our memory. Lemmy still exists, but only as a topiary bush of a statue in a bar that is lucky to host him.

 

In a certain sense, I kinda’ feel good for the dead who died while they lived as we wanted them to do so. For the Cobains (yeah, I wrote that), Moons and Bohnams (imagine them wrestling), Entwistles (hey, Members Only jackets and doing rails was still cool in 2002, right?), and Hannemans (hot tubs and alcohol don’t mix).

 

I know, that was far too glib—and that isn’t an Andy joke--for even me. I would never celebrate a death if only to wish for a youthful look back at what once was. Each and every loss is a sad one. And they will continue to mount. They can’t help but do so. The music, like all of us, dies.

So what is left to do? We have no Doctor Faustus to whom we can appeal. There is no tech or pharmaceutical to which we can turn. And, notice here, that I am not talking about the bands we love, but about the fans we are. We should thank Ulrich for this message. Because it speaks to a condition that none of us can ignore: we are getting old. Like our bands. Our creaks and groans get less attention. Our failures less mention. Our successes less hits. But we are Ulrich in this instance. Best we face our fate with the same clear eyes. Sad but true.

Kid Rock, Soundgarden To Headline Northern Invasion

Kid Rock, Soundgarden, Godsmack, The Offspring, Bush, Papa Roach and many more will play the 2017 version of Northern Invasion. The fest will take place in Somerset, WI on May 13 and 14, 2017. This is another AEG Live festival. It's kind of interesting all the May AEG fests seem to have different headliners this year. A transition from the way things usually go.

Sebastian Bach Takes Swipe At Nikki Sixx

As I mentioned the other day, Sebastian Bach is all over the place, doing a media tour for his new book. He recently took a swipe at Nikki Sixx during one of his book talks. I have to say, I think it was out of line. Here's the swipe. It comes from an interview with The Creative Independent, as shared by Blabbermouth:

[Bach] "I'm not even saying that I remember everything perfectly. It's like [MÖTLEY CRÜE bassist] Nikki Sixx [and his book] 'The Heroin Diaries'. Were you really keeping a diary when you were doing heroin? C'mon?! Really? [Motions with his right hand as if he is injecting himself with heroin] 'Oh, this feels amazing.' We all know it's a metaphor, it's an artistic license that you're using."

Is it me, or does it seem like this was an unnecessary comment? I get the point Bach was trying to make and yet it seems like he was needlessly stirring the pot here. Just about the last thing you joke about is a former addict's sobriety. But hell, we're living in a post-truth world now, so here we are.

SEBASTIAN BACH Questions Whether NIKKI SIXX Really Kept A Diary At Height Of His Heroin Addiction https://t.co/7PyB1fFFSx pic.twitter.com/ZtuTBV22xQ

— BLABBERMOUTH.NET (@BLABBERMOUTHNET) December 11, 2016

I See Stars, 'Calm Snow' -- New Video

My beloved I See Stars just released a video for their song "Calm Snow" a couple days ago. It's a legitimate, highly produced expensive video. "Calm Snow" is from the new album Treehouse, which is one of my go-to albums for when I'm working (headphones in, of course). Not Glam, but you can't listen to Hair Nation every day at work, right?!